kivikakk.ee

Ruby is my work language

I realised something today: Ruby is my work language. I remember years ago when a group of people were discussing, I think on RubyInside (or maybe just ruby-talk), how to get Ruby into the workplace. There was Ruby Insurgency by Andy Hunt—when I review it now, it’s more or less exactly how I introduced Ruby at my workplace. It started off being used by me to do quick little hacks here and there, prototypes and the like; then I introduced it in more mission-critical places one-by-one until it formed a keystone of many of the pieces of architecture.

We have a sizable amount of code that works in production (our testing framework) entirely written in Ruby—its size is of equal magnitude with the software it’s testing. Preprocessors running over all our production code are written in Ruby. The glue that holds our pieces of architecture together are written in Ruby. We’re at the last stage, “Ruby Rules”, of the Ruby Insurgency.

And I can’t enjoy it anymore. Sad, but true. I love OCaml—I don’t think I can actually code in any other language, any more, and have the same feeling of joy that I get with ML, because it’s a very specific one, and Ruby and other dynamic languages can’t deliver it. I don’t think Ruby will be replaced anytime soon as my desktop calculator and ultra-fast script for batch processing and other text analysis, but this basically reduces it to a glorified Perl. Which, I suppose, it is.

I’ve been known to espouse the various joys and delights of Ruby’s object model, but the reality of the matter is that I rarely use it in the use-cases for Ruby that I have left—when I do, it tends to be only because the script is explicitly for one-time use or insular use, and thus will feel no restriction in appending a dozen instances to String or Class or so on. The supposedly great things that I tout the language for are the ones I use least in larger-scale projects.

Of course, this is somewhat a lie—I do use them in larger-scale projects, such as swiftest—but it’s exactly my point that it’s a work thing. While I’ll admit that I don’t have the ML nous to write anything of the complexity or size of swiftest in ML, I’m working my way very readily there in my own spare time (latest achievement: fairly complete (though minimal) lisp interpreter!), and it was only because I had the requisite knowledge on Ruby that I was able to contribute swiftest in Ruby.

That may sound obvious, but the revelation behind it is this: Ruby didn’t let me build swiftest—I did. Anyone could build a similar system in their language of choice, and while naturally the instrumentation of the resulting system and how it would look and feel would sure differ, their end result would be the same, and I daresay a lot of the architecture in any one system would map more-or-less directly onto the architecture in another. I feel the need to draw a parallel with convergent evolution here, though I think one would be neither necessary nor correct, but perhaps you can feel what I’m trying to say: even with a different set of primitives and ideals or motivations at the language level, once you start building greater levels of complexity, you tend to end up with similar abstractions, even if they’re composed in different ways.

You might wonder what draws me to OCaml. It can’t escape all the points made above, right? Well, probably not. But it jives with me even more than Ruby did when I first encountered it—and that’s not to say that Ruby jives with me any ‘less’, per se, but rather I’ve realised that I can jive with a programming language a lot more than I’ve been assuming for a long time. Jive.

I’d like to elaborate on this some more, soon

A follow up on IBM

To be fair with my previous post by giving the whole story now: I called IBM. Less than 3 minutes were up, and I had everything I needed to know about my service call. That time includes time spent listening to their menu tree.

So, incredible phone support; terrible email support. Interesting how they can go so right and so wrong.

AskIBM, or, “How not to do tech support”

Below is the email to my company and its sister company which summarised my recent findings with IBM. My email to IBM, 9:35am:

Hi there,

I recently submitted a request with ESC+, problem number 616P496RCS.

When I spoke to the IBM representative on the phone, I requested a change of address – he did this by closing the old ticket (now in status “CCC”) and opening a new one, with number P496CBC.

Unfortunately, the new ticket (P496CBC) is not shown in the “View my requests: Australia/New Zealand” view in ESC+, so I can’t track what’s happening with my laptop.

As it has been over a week, I’d like to know what’s happening. Thanks!

Cheers,
Arlen

At 9:43am, IBM’s reply graced my inbox.

Dear  Arlen
Thank you for contacting AskIBM.

For technical enquiries, warranty claims, Recovery CDs, repairs and local IBM Repairers in Australia please contact our service centre on 131 426 (61 7 5585 3144).

For technical and service enquiries in New Zealand, please contact 0800 733 222  (64 4 576 5555).

Should you have any further enquiries please do not hestitate to contact AskIBM.

Regards

Jane
AskIBM Administrator
IBM Australia

I replied at 9:50am:

Hi Jane,

Thanks for your reply! I do have further enquiries, as it happens.

Are you able to help me at all via email? I don’t particularly want to spend all day on the phone, which is why I went to the trouble of finding an email address where I could actually contact you guys.

Your response gives the impression you didn’t actually read what I wrote at all. (Case in point: I didn’t ask for phone numbers.)

Thanks again,

Arlen

At 10:32am, IBM struck back:

Dear  Arlen

Thank you for contacting AskIBM.

For  technical support and service please contact:

131 426   (61 7 5585 3144)  if calling form Australia or

0800 733 222  (64 4 576 5555)  if calling from New Zealand.

Regards

Jane
AskIBM Administrator
IBM Australia

With my dear friend Alex’s help (i.e. he composed the entire thing), we vetoed her attempts to palm us off at 10:42am:

Dear Jane,

Thanks for getting back to me, and for again ignoring the main thrust of my email.

I apologise for the tone of this email, however your latest response has left me feeling undervalued as a customer.

I cannot see where the issue would be in having a level of basic manners and responding with “I’m sorry, but we deal with our technical queries via phone, please contact etc etc” rather than ignoring my question and responding only with the contact details.

You will note that my response to you, whilst acknowledging your actions in the conversation, also contains my own questions. Note how from my point of view this could be considered an open dialogue, whereas your responses provide me with no added benefit beyond that which an auto-responder would provide.

Moreover, your responses contain typos which make it clear that I am being responded to by a human. This adds insult to injury, as it means not only are my responses reaching a person, but that person is taking deliberate steps to ignore my questions.

So please – if I must contact your phone support (which I dearly hope is better than your email support) just answer me clearly. Do *not* give me the phone number again – it is apparent that I already have it, as it’s the only thing of any value you have thus far given me. Tell me not only that I must contact phone support, but that my continued emailing will have no effect but to further frustrate me.

Regards,

Arlen

At 11:07am, IBM raised their white flag in a pitiful act of cowardice:

Dear Arlen

Thank you for contacting AskIBM.

I am unable to provide an email address.

Please phone our service centre.

Regards

Jane
AskIBM Administrator
IBM Australia

This is why we rock.

–
Arlen Cuss
Software Engineer
Noble Samurai

German efficiency

DHL turned up just now (before 2pm) for a pick-up. I’m hereby assuming it was for me.

It was quick, but man, what an attitude.

Me: Are you from Lenovo?
DHL: I’m from DHL.
Me: O…kay… who does it say the pick up’s for?
DHL: Byte. (or something that sounds like that)
Me: Byte?
DHL: Byte.
Me: Alright..

I hand over the laptop, without battery and AC adapter as requested on the phone earlier today.

DHL: You’re lucky I’ve got a box, otherwise that’d be bouncing around in there!
Me: …… (they said on the phone he’d have a box??)

That’s it. Fast but unfortunate courier.

Den mänskliga hjärnan

I learned a funny thing about the human mind this morning.

Last night I was trying to lodge a service request with IBM for my ThinkPad Edge—very, very poor quality, if I do say so myself. From a few days ago, the screen started blanking (with the laptop going into suspend) at random, though it seemed to happen most often while Misty and I were watching a DVD. It’d happen when I was using the keyboard, when I wasn’t, DVD or no DVD, eventually becoming more and more common.

This started to really frustrate me, coupled with the fact that Linux 2.6.32 seems to have a 1 in 3 chance of failing to resume from suspend on it. “Preferences -> Power Management” lets you stop it from suspending (it only locks the screen), but that was still really annoying. It turns out gnome-power-management has keys in gconf where you can actually disable any behaviour at all—I discovered that yesterday. That was ideal, but the word “ideal” is laughable when it meant that, by this stage, the LCD backlight would turn off after a few seconds of use (and with it the external monitor also turns off—the computer seemingly under the belief that I’m closing the lid?), and it would take a lot of moving the laptop’s lid back and forth before I’d just strike an angle that would leave it on for a few seconds more.

I had a go at taking it apart, but I couldn’t find the mechanism that signals whether or not the lid is closed (nothing obviously magnetic, either). I hadn’t seen any of this behaviour while using Windows on the machine, so I tried rebooting into Windows, but the symptoms were steadily getting worse.

I decided it high time to get IBM onto the scene (as they provide support for Lenovo’s machines, the two being mostly one and the same, now). I discovered that applying a strong pressure to the part of the laptop just to the right of the keyboard (near the return key and so on) actually caused the LCD to work. I had to keep it there though. This was frustrating.

So, there I am, frustratingly trying to navigate Lenovo’s support website (to lead me to IBM’s “Electronic Service Call+” website), trying to login, all with my right hand applying a firm pressure to this area right next to the keyboard. No fun.

I imagine that, when I signed up to Lenovo’s website back when I purchased the laptop, that ID may extend to IBM’s website, so I try logging in with that email address. No deal! I can’t find any password configuration that works. I choose “Forgot my password”. And here’s where the whole point of this entry comes in.

My secret question comes up, and it looks nothing like a secret question I’d ever set:

(3 * 2) * (3 * 1.5 * 2) =

That’s it. I look at it and think—surely this isn’t mine. The email address sure is, though. It annoys me that they have no recourse of “send password reset link to email”. Working from the left, I get 3×2=6, 6×3=18, 18×1.5=27, 27×2=54. I enter “54″. No dice. “fiftyfour”. Nope. “fifty four”. Nuh-uh. “fifty-four”. Nothing works.

Annoyed, I give up and register for a new account with my work address (this is all with my hand on the right side of my laptop). It takes an agonisingly long time to do that, and then even longer to lodge an “electronic service call”, the form for which seems designed more for companies with thousands of IBM assets than anything else. They even asked me for a “priority”. Sure, I’ll pick “highest”.

This morning, I wake up after some really, really strange dreams, and as I slowly manage to come to reality, Misty and I start chatting. Half-way through a sentence, I realise my brain has been working out the equation as it was written; by this stage I couldn’t remember the right hand side, but I remember that it was 6x=54 and—of course, 6 × 9! Though I’ve not heard the radio play in years, nor read the books, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy came to me at once, and I knew the answer must be 42.

I sprang out of bed and found the log-in form, filled out all the information, and voilà—success.

The human mind sure is strange.